var mess = [];
mess.push("A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago");
mess.push("Friction can be a drag");
mess.push("Drilling for oil is boring");
mess.push("Vacation: a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid");
mess.push("Every morning is the dawn of a new error");
mess.push("Ignorance is no excuse. It's the real thing");
mess.push("Cancer cures smoking");
mess.push("Boycott: Somewhere to keep male babies");
mess.push("Never believe generalizations");
mess.push("The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance");
mess.push("Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap");
mess.push("Warning: Dates on calendars are closer than they appear");
mess.push("If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?");
mess.push("There is an exception to every rule, except this one");
mess.push("If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down");
mess.push("Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted");
mess.push("Where can I find another word for thesaurus?");
mess.push("Illiterate? Write For Help");
mess.push("Why doesn't glue stick to the bottles?");
mess.push("Imagine a world without hypothetical situations");
mess.push("The thing to spend on your children is 'time'.");
mess.push("Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else");
mess.push("If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?");
mess.push("How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?");
mess.push("Why do we chop a tree 'down' and then chop it 'up'?");
mess.push("It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow");
mess.push("You never learn anything by doing it right");
mess.push("Why should I grow up? This is more fun!");
mess.push("If you think education is expensive, try ignorance");
mess.push("Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours");
mess.push("Does a dyslexic poet writes inverse?");
mess.push("Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight");
mess.push("If you can read this, thank a teacher");
mess.push("Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?");
mess.push("Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana");
mess.push("Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?");
mess.push("If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either");
mess.push("If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?");
mess.push("It's not an optical illusion, it just looks that way");
mess.push("Do witches run spell checkers?");
mess.push("If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?");
mess.push("What do you call a male ladybug?");
mess.push("How come quicksand works slowly?");
mess.push("Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?");
mess.push("If people from Poland are called 'Poles' why aren't people from Holland called 'Holes?'");
mess.push("Why is it that night falls but day breaks?");
mess.push("Do pilots take crash-courses?");
mess.push("How do you get off a non-stop flight?");
mess.push("Do fish get thirsty?");
mess.push("If you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?");
mess.push("Why is a boxing ring square?");
mess.push("How do Keep Off The Grass signs get there?");
var num = Math.floor((Math.random() * mess.length));
document.writeln(mess[num]);