var mess = [];
mess.push("It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.");
mess.push("Money does grow on trees. It's just that the banks own all the branches");
mess.push("How do a fool and his money get together in the first place?");
mess.push("People are not your problem, they are your purpose");
mess.push("Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer.");
mess.push("Half the people you know are below average");
mess.push("A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well");
mess.push("Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?");
mess.push("He who laughs last, thinks slowest");
mess.push("Plan ahead-- it wasn't raining when Noah built the ark");
mess.push("Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine");
mess.push("Where there's a will, I want to be in it");
mess.push("If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?");
mess.push("If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees");
mess.push("I childproofed my house, but they still get in.");
mess.push("Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else.");
mess.push("Of course I don't look busy - I did it right the first time! ");
mess.push("If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain.");
mess.push("Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live");
mess.push("5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions");
mess.push("Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?");
mess.push("By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends");
mess.push("I keep hitting the Escape key, but I'm still here ");
mess.push("If two wrongs don't make a right, try three");
mess.push("Nostalgia isn't what it used to be");
mess.push("Forgive your enemies, but don't forget their names ");
mess.push("Give some people an inch, and they think they are rulers");
mess.push("Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?");
mess.push("Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines");
mess.push("Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?");
mess.push("I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one");
mess.push("Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?");
mess.push("Anarchy is better that no government at all");
mess.push("I don't mind coming to work, it's that eight hour wait to go home that I hate");
mess.push("Never drink water - if it can rust iron, imagine what it can do to your stomach");
mess.push("A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. My desk is called a work station..");
mess.push("I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!");
mess.push("Whenever I look for something, it's always in the last place I look");
mess.push("Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular");
mess.push("If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off");
mess.push("If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?");
mess.push("Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?");
mess.push("If you think about it long enough, you'll see that it's obvious");
mess.push("A little pain never hurt anyone");
mess.push("The only job you start at the top is digging a hole");
mess.push("The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese");
mess.push("A closed mouth gathers no foot");
mess.push("By the time you can make ends meet, they've moved the ends");
mess.push("Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'Lisp' to have a 'S' in it?");
mess.push("If this were really a free country, I'd own it by now");
mess.push("Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?");
mess.push("When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?");
var num = Math.floor((Math.random() * mess.length));
document.writeln(mess[num]);